Adoption

In all its beauty and inevitable struggles, in all its changes and transformation, I marvel at how the seasons of life mirror the seasons of nature.

And on a personal level, I can relate to the cyclical seasons of change because I, too, have traveled through many dormant seasons in my lifetime, only to be blessed with new beginnings, leading me into a season of growth before reaping the benefits of life's harvest once again.

Spring (especially) reminds me of how nature has a way of letting us know that the season of dormancy is over. Similar to the stroke of an artist brush, a new painting begins to appear: Birds return busying themselves building nests. Trees and plants burst into bloom. And the spirit of humankind perks up in anticipation of the seasons ahead.

So, what does the cycle of life/nature have to do with adoption?

Well, whenever I've reflected on a child wounded by abandonment, stuck in the system of adoption, not knowing whether a permanent placement would happen, I've imagined how tough life must have been for them, how fragile and dormant their growth must have seemed.

On the other hand, I've pondered what it must have felt like when a family finally reached out and offered a "forever" home to that child: Did it feel like the four seasons combined? Was it with mixed emotions that they left the dormant season behind, yet wantonly looked forward to a new life, with a chance to grow and thrive and reap the harvest of love in a family that had chosen them?

Surprisingly, some of my answers have come through the eyes of an eight-year-old boy named Joshua.

Joshua entered foster care when he was just five years old, removed from his biological parents, and placed in the system. While he was fortunate enough to be blessed with great foster parents, he knew it wasn't his "forever" home. He continued to wait in anticipation for the day he'd belong and be loved in a family that he would call his own.

 I am happy to announce that the season of dormancy and waiting for Joshua is finally over. He is now part of our family—the Rice-Sawyer clan! Our daughter and her wife have adopted him. We now have a new grandson, and Thatcher has an older brother.

It's been a few months since Joshua entered into the growing season with his new family. Right from the onset Derick and I were eager to show him (something that his brother Thatcher already knew) the unfailing love of his nana and pap, and we had the opportunity to do just that when he visited our home this July.

Of course, we wondered if we could earn this little boy's trust in such a short time, being that his life had been burdensome for the first eight years, especially the first five.

A couple of days into Joshua's visit, however, I overheard him say to his moms, "I am comfortable here at Nana and Pap's house." And "comfortable" became more and more evident as the days went on. Watching him blossom was/is a remarkable depiction of what love and trust and nurturing and stability can do in a child's life. Needless to say, he learned quickly that—in our family—no matter what season of life we may find ourselves in, our harvest of love is never-ending.

While the details of Joshua's past must remain private, it isn't hard to see the hand of God at work in our adoption story.

There are inspirational biblical accounts on adoption as well, and through God's artistry of purpose, He shows us how adoption has played (and is still playing) a vital role in His love for humanity.

For instance, if Jochebed hadn't put Moses in a basket and sent him gently down a river, he'd have been killed by the leader of the royal family that adopted him. But, instead, he grew up to be an essential leader of God's plan to bring the Israelites out of Egypt.

Most importantly: How would the world have looked had Joseph not stepped up to the plate and adopted Jesus? Mary might have been stoned to death, but God had other plans, and together they raised a Son that changed the course of history.

As Christians, we, too, are offered a new life through the sacrifice of Christ. Not unlike an adoption of sorts, with new possibilities and hope for the future, at the end of our Earthly journey, Christ also promises us a "forever" home.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. What are you most thankful for this year?

I know for me personally, there are a few things that come to mind, but as a family, Derick and I are incredibly thankful for adoption and the role we get to play in our boys' lives. It has enlivened our purpose beyond measure—to say the least.

With regards to the future, perhaps our grandsons will grow up and become leaders for God. Perhaps they will show the world just how blessed they are to have been adopted by two loving mommas and be part of the solution that ends the fear and stigma that still, to this day, surrounds gay adoption. One can only hope, right?

Thirty-Five Years Married—Finding Love After Abuse

Derick and I met at a community college, located at a midway point between our hometowns. I was 19. And he was 18.

I had entered this college because it offered an upgrading program for me to complete my General Education Diploma (GED). Derick was there taking a Welding trade, which he has never used to gain employment. (But I am so thankful he decided to take it! I'll chalk it up to fate!)

I remember how our classrooms were around the corner from each other and how every morning Derick's whistles would echo behind me as I walked by him. I should have been flattered that this hot, blue-eyed guy was admiring me. In fact, one time I would have loved all the attention, and I probably would have even shaken my booty at him. But Derick's boldness left me uncomfortable.

At 19 years of age, I had already been in two abusive relationships. I escaped one only to fall into another, the last one ending six months before I entered college. So my emotional scars were still very much present. My self-esteem was damaged, and I had a negative mindset with regards to trust and dating and even love. In my young life, it had only shown itself to be abusive, untrustworthy, controlling, and manipulative. And besides, I had entered college for the sole purpose of obtaining my GED. I didn't need any distractions; I only wanted to achieve a better life.

It's not easy re-engaging in the dating scene after abuse. (In my case, abusers.) The question always at the forefront of my mind was, "Will he abuse me? " and it held me back from Derick's persistence of wanting to date me. It would be months before I said yes. And I am so glad I did. He mirrored love in my life in ways I had never experienced before. It was a love that would take us down the aisle two years later.

We by no means went on to have a fairytale marriage. It has been far from perfect. Through busy careers, parenthood, sickness, grief, lack of intimacy, it all, at times, left us wondering if our love would stand the test of time.

However, here we are today celebrating a marriage milestone of 35 years. Our love has not only evolved, but it has indeed stood the test of time, for better, for worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part...

Do you believe in fate? I sure do!