Clay in the Potter’s Hands

When I think of our spiritual lives, I liken it to how we are but clay in the Potter's hands, designed to go through the "messiness" of the pottery process. 

Many of us have been crushed and broken by life's circumstances, often hardening our hearts and causing us to resist the molding process.

"The world breaks everyone, then some become strong at the broken places." Ernest Hemingway. 

Hemingway's quote reminds me of times when I felt broken and how I found the strength to persevere in those broken places. 

Looking back now (although I resisted the Potter), I believe He was still sprinkling "love water" on my dirt, softening it and preparing me for the healing power of His wheel.

Then in 2004, I took a leap of faith and dared to become wet clay again. I dared to embrace vulnerability and be molded anew. It's been challenging for me to give up control, to trust the process and timing of the Potter. I am, after all, a stubborn creature by nature and sometimes venture off His wheel—only to find myself "splat" back on again so that His loving hands can resume their work.

When we place our lives in the Potter's hands, it's just the beginning of our pottery transformation. Like clay has to undergo several processes before it transcends into a beautiful piece of art, the Potter has unique methods of working in and through us to soften our hearts and smooth out all the rough edges. It can be a messy and fragile undertaking because, in reality, our hearts don't become hardened overnight; therefore, healing isn't an immediate fix. 

The thing is, this life will always leave us marred and broken in some way. So we will constantly evolve as our lives are molded and reworked here on Earth. Our part in that process is to remain open, humble, and pliable, which isn't always easy.

Why? 

Because even when we are back on the Potter's wheel feeling good about our progress, a life twist can occur at any given moment, repeatedly testing our faith and making us less flexible in His hands. 

One such test came when my daughter openly admitted she was gay. The shockwave initiated by her coming out rattled my core beliefs and caused me to become wobbly and off-centered on the Potter's wheel. Hearing the harshness toward homosexuality (especially at church) suddenly became like daggers to my heart as I cringed in the pew, not knowing when the preacher would indirectly speak those painful words toward my daughter again.

So for my spiritual and mental well-being, I took a two-year hiatus away from church but remained pliable in the Potter's hands, and even though I mumbled and grumbled and flopped around, I became centered again. During that time, my understanding and love for the Potter grew, and I finally realized that He loved my daughter as much as I did. 

A short time later, the Potter opened the doors of Burns Mosa to our family. Their Christ-like love, kindness, and acceptance gave us a new church family, and Burns became a part of our pottery process, for which we will be forever grateful. 

What the world may discard as a lifeless piece of clay, the Potter envisions something extraordinary. 

I don't know what struggles you are facing. But please know this: You are not alone. You are not a failure. You aren't worthless. You are loved and redeemable. You are the clay in the Potter's hands, a beautiful piece of art, despite your scars. And He desires to mold you into the extraordinary vessel you were meant to become.

                                     

Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

You are in tears, sharing a painful experience with a friend; she consoles you and utters the words, "everything happens for a reason."

Admittedly, you know your friend is being genuine. You know she has your best interest at heart. But you don't feel it at that moment — instead, you feel a little annoyed and dumbfounded. You think, "What possible reason would justify this shroud of darkness?" 

Everything happens for a reason is a common cliché used among Christians and non-Christians. It can be an inspiring catchphrase if the timing and context are right. But in my experience, more often than not, it's used out of context.  

So why is this cliché (and so many others) thrown around so loosely, especially in the face of grief and human suffering? 

To be fair: People mean well. I don't think anyone's motive is to add confusion to one's suffering. Many are ill-prepared to deal with grief and loss — to deal with the discomfort of others' pain, of the awkward silence grief can present. So they fumble on what to say. But more importantly, what not to say. And end up saying clichés such as everything happens for a reason.

 I am in no way letting myself off the hook here. I, too, have been guilty of uttering everything happens for a reason without considering how my words might have affected the person on the receiving end. But since working through personal grief and doing extensive research on grief and loss, my views have evolved. 

Through healing, with time and distance, I've (slowly) ripped the band-aids off my emotional wounds and taken a deeper look at my scars, bringing a new perspective and awareness to them. 

So have I found reasons to use the traumatic events in my life for the greater good? Yes. I've discovered purpose in my pain if you will. 

Do I believe my pain happened to produce that purpose? Absolutely not. 

On my life's journey, I am reminded that even when I enjoy life to the fullest, others are deep in grief and pain. And so, for me, to insinuate everything happens for a reason is to send out the message that God orchestrates and causes "all" bad things to happen. That it's His will to inflict pain and suffering on His children, that evil doesn't exist, and that He has a divine purpose for every ordeal we face.  

Think about it. 

For what possible reason would a loving God have for provoking so much injustice and abuse in the world? 

For what possible reason would a loving God have for inciting someone to open fire on innocent people? 

For what possible reason would a loving God have for someone being sexually abused? 

For what possible reason would a loving God have for causing someone to get cancer?

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world where terrible events continue to inflict pain. And whether we believe everything happens for a reason or not, we must handle it with care. The most crucial consideration should be how the person on the receiving end will interpret the words we say, bearing in mind that sometimes there is no justification or logical explanation for why certain things happen. 

But as believers, we can take comfort that our pain isn't meaningless because of the Cross. We can rest assured that God does see the bigger picture, that He's there in our grief and suffering, healing those broken places in our hearts so that we can (in time) rise above and become pillars of light and support for others. Nothing is wasted if we place it in God's hands. 

The Meandering Road of Life

Do you feel like you're meandering through life without meaning or purpose? Do you question the path that you're on? Do you feel like something is missing in your life, but you can't quite put your finger on it?

Most of us like to keep existence simple. We want the road that we're on to be straightforward. But then life happens. And we find ourselves meandering through unknown territory. While some turns are wondrous and beautiful, others are dark and traumatic, sending us into a wobble — to the point where there appears to be no path forward anymore.

Looking back now, it's clear that I felt out of place in this world, like a misfit, meandering aimlessly. Thereby, much of my energy was spent trying to figure out where I belonged, so much so that my external world became so loud it'd drowned out the calm, whispering voice of my soul. 

I read once that you can only give so much of yourself away before you have nothing left to give. And it's so true; we can become inwardly depleted and unrecognizable to ourselves. 

We are all wandering creatures by nature, each on a mission to find our place in this world. And even though some find it, others of us are like nomads, meandering and searching until suddenly we are nudged, prompted by the universe to make the journey back home for the well-being of our emotional, mental, and spiritual state.

In 2004, I hit a crossroads. Nothing made sense. There was no purpose or meaning in my life. Yet (the confusing part was) I'd a beautiful life.

So what was wrong? What had left me discontented and ungrateful for the life that I had? 

In truth: I'd lost touch with God and my innermost self. In other words: I'd lost my way home.

I'd masked my past traumas and meandered into the future with a clouded perception of what was essential in life. As a result, I experienced a tug-of-war between the external world and my spirit, making me feel like a part of me was broken — needed fixing, when, in reality, all I had to do was "let go of the rope" and trust God to show me the way home.

Actually, hitting that crossroads in 2004 was a beckoning to begin my search for "home," the beginning of what's been a long meandering trek of introspection and self-awareness. A purifying training ground, if you will, that brought me back to God, that guided me into a better understanding of myself, and that helped me find meaning in the events that'd happened to me. 

Of course, the road has become more manageable with God at the helm. It's not that the road is necessarily straighter by any means. It's just that I am not alone. I now have a traveling companion, a supreme navigator, to help me get back on track. 

If we are honest, there's a place within all of us that's unsatisfied and longs for something more. I don't mean more money or an accumulation of more stuff but rather a "spiritual hunger" that only God can fill. As Saint Augustine quoted: "Our hearts are restless until it rests in thee." 

This simple yet so profound quote by Augustine has significant meaning if you think about it. Because — as we meander along life's road — it's a given that our hearts will wander and become restless. We're human, after all. But how wonderful is it that we can always regain spiritual perspective by resting in thee?

PS: I'm still a misfit in many ways. But understanding that we are all uniquely created, I am okay with being different, with going off-the-beaten-path, if it doesn't negatively impact my spiritual health, that is.