Statistics have shown that when kids remain in foster care, they are more likely to be arrested and unemployed as adults. Denied the right to be adopted, they will eventually age out of the system and onto the streets, fending for themselves, with no family to go home to, no traditions to take part in, and no one to help with life's setbacks.
Fostering is an essential service, yes, but it was never meant to be permanent—every child desires and waits for their "forever" home. And yet, what is so disheartening to me is that so many still frown heavily on gay adoption.
Some fear that allowing same-sex couples to adopt will change the family dynamics. Others even fear that being raised by a same-sex couple will influence the child to be gay.
First of all, being gay isn't learned behavior. And secondly, same-sex couples want to love and nurture children in the same way heterosexual couples do. They aren't trying to threaten anyone's values.
I truly understand people's fears, though. So I try to cut them some slack when they voice their opinions in a kind manner.
Eight years ago, when my daughter and her wife privately adopted our first grandchild, I'd mixed feelings and fears. But when our second grandchild (a foster child) was adopted fifteen months ago, I was onboard upfront.
What changed? What generated me to be on the opposing side of this debate?
I saw the face of it. And I am now seeing the face of it with both of my grandsons. They are thriving in their lives. They are being raised on a foundation of safety and trust and stability and love — a recipe for success in my books.
Bottom line: Every child desires to be loved and accepted. Together we can take a stand to help end the stigma that still surrounds gay adoption. Together we can take a stand to help make the world a safer place for ALL families.
We can do this by starting at home, by educating our children, by teaching them about diverse families, about inclusion, about discrimination, and about how to value people for who they are.
On a personal note: I am so thankful that gay adoption is legalized here in Canada because it's been an incredible blessing to us.
