We've been living in a time of extreme uncertainty and loss, with varying degrees of COVID-related restrictions, pausing life as we know it.
More than a year and a half later, many of us are now fully vaccinated. Yet while some sense of balance has returned, a new variant always seems to loom on the horizon, spiking anxiety and fear, causing hope to diminish once again.
There is a common thread that's bound us together throughout COVID: it's called grief. We have all been touched by it in some capacity or another. Whether we realize it or not, we have all experienced collective grief due to losses.
While losing a loved one is an irreplaceable, incomparable kind of loss, there have been intangible losses in the pandemic that may have also triggered grief, such as the loss of a job, the loss of a business, the loss of human touch, the loss of wedding plans, the loss of freedom, the loss of hope ... any loss that's valuable to you, needs to also be recognized and acknowledge and mourned in its own unique way.
But perhaps you have felt (or others have made you feel) that your loss or losses seemed minor or insignificant compared to what others have endured, so you retreated your feelings, you soldiered on and downplayed them because you felt that they weren't grief-worthy, that they weren't valid.
When we sold our Ontario home (in July 2020) and moved to New Brunswick, it brought much change, and those who know me know that I don't adapt well to change. So there were days when my anxiety was heightened, days when I'd cry because I missed my family and friends, days when I just felt concerned about the future. And, let's face it, COVID wasn't a time to socialize and meet new people(and it still isn't).
Consequently, I held back from expressing myself because I felt selfish. I thought: What right do I have to complain when the world is reeling in so much pain and sorrow, when people are losing loved ones, Every. Single. Day.
Yes, what I was feeling was minor compared to what others were experiencing, but my point is: it doesn't mean my feelings were invalid.
Nor are your feelings invalid.
The fact remains: It's been a challenging year and a half. We have all (including the children) been changed by this pandemic in some way or another. On any given day, it has gripped us with fear, anxiety, loneliness, depression, sadness... leaving many forever scarred and likely in mourning for years to come.
Even though not foolproof, being vaccinated has undoubtedly given some of us a new sense of normalcy, but let's not take for granted what COVID has (and still is) taking from us and that grief is real and personal.
"Give thanks in all circumstances." The Apostle Paul's profound words have never been more crucial as we struggle through pandemic fatigue. So my question is, entering into the fourth wave, with our second Thanksgiving in upheaval, can we find it in our hearts to give thanks? Are we able to go around our table at Thanksgiving, even amid our difficult circumstances, even in the deep agonizing grief and anxiety and fear that we may be feeling, and find something to give thanks for?
I am thankful to be in a family that supports one another through life's struggles. But as I reflect on the last year and a half, my heart floods with thankfulness for the community family of essential workers who have worked tirelessly to provide the best possible support and care for us.
And also for the vaccine researchers who have worked long, grueling hours to give us another layer of protection. Because of your diligence, after two long years of being apart, Derick and I were able to safely spend time in Newfoundland visiting family this summer.
Understandably, many feel despair in turbulent times like these, but we must keep hope alive.
Happy Thanksgiving.
May God bless you and keep you safe.
