The Shadowy Slope of Life

Behind every shadow cast, there must be light since, without light, the shadow would disappear.

On the other hand, something must partially block the light for the shadow to appear in the first place. 

I grew up in an era without cell phones or video games. Our black-and-white TV only had two channels. It was like watching shadowy pictures through a constant snowfall of static. 

Yet my siblings and I were rarely bored; we entertained ourselves in other ways, as simple as chasing our shadows. We'd mimic and frolic after them and even got frustrated when we couldn't outrun them. 

Unresolved grief, the effects of trauma, hiding one's sexual orientation, or other present and past issues, are internal shadows with the same control in that we can never outrun them. 

However, unlike our external shadows, light isn't needed to produce the shadows we carry within. On the contrary, light is needed to expose the shadows lurking inside the mind.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that often forces us into the shadow realm of "faking it until we make it." In the process, we deny or suppress or hide parts of ourselves to fit in, and years later, we are still held hostage, detached from our true selves, unable to sever the shadows that bind us.

 

Carl Jung, one of the greatest psychologists of the 20th century, quoted:" In every adult, there lurks a child…that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole."

In retrospect, Jung's words are so true to my life. Left uncared for and traumatized, my inner child lurked so far inside the shadows of my mind that even as her cries manifested into feelings of being isolated, unworthy, anxious, and often on edge, her voice could not breach the echo chamber of deception. We were both stuck on the shadowy slope of life, unable to merge and move forward, until she finally caught my attention in my mid-forties.

Everything changed after I sought counseling and began confronting and bringing my youth's shadows into the light. It was the beginning of healing for both the adult version of myself and the little girl I'd left behind. And even though some of my past shadows are like boomerangs, my inner child and I now face them together, forever learning, evolving, and working toward the light.

And in one form or another, I often write about the shadowy parts of my past, not because I am an expert by any means, but because I know from experience how vital inner child work is for our overall well-being and how, when left at the helm, our shadows not only affect us; they affect the people around us as well. 

Furthermore, without exposure to the light, our shadows will hold out on becoming our greatest teachers. Why? Because they hold the key that locks us from becoming our true selves, they conceal the secrets that squash our happiness and deny us the freedom to reach our full potential. 

I know all too well that it isn't easy to believe in the light behind the shadow during life's struggles. As a result, our spirit may wander toward our darker shadow self since—at that moment—we cannot see a lit path forward. 

Most of you know my story and the shadow I hid behind after my daughter came out gay. However, the light of love overcame the shadow of estrangement and lit the path toward an amazing relationship with my daughter, her wife, and three grandsons.

Falling behind the shadow of domestic abuse at nineteen also left me feeling helpless and unworthy of love. Yet, once again, the light shone beyond the shadow and lit the path that led me to my wonderful, caring husband of forty-one years.   

Perhaps being trapped in the maze of the mind for so many years is why I'm always fascinated by the symbolism the cycle of life portrays in nature, especially during springtime, as spring reminds me of new birth, where the shadow of the dead-looking trees will soon bud into blooming flowers again. 

And it's so fitting that Easter, the ultimate celebration of life, also occurs during this season of renewal. A time when Christ endured much suffering, yet, in the end, He conquered the shadow of death through His resurrection.

While our journey on this earth will always cast new shadows upon us, Easter gives us hope that life will re-bloom—despite dark and dreary days—because Christ is always there, shadow-hunting on our behalf, patiently waiting to breathe new life into us again.    

                                                     Happy Easter!