Nothing disrupts joy and contentment faster than comparing ourselves to others.
We live in a world that thrives on comparison. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we stand next to the societal measuring stick to see where we measure up, leaving us feeling inferior or superior to others.
Not all comparisons are unhealthy. Striving to learn from the successes of others can be inspiring; it can motivate us to reach our goals and identify areas for improvement.
However, the comparison trap has a darker side: adopting the mindset that "the grass is greener on the other side.” This perspective can lead to envy and resentment toward others, ultimately damaging our self-worth and overall well-being.
Believing in the "greener grass" view is an illusion—it offers only a limited snapshot of someone else's life.
We often see this in face-to-face conversations or on social media. For example, the perfect marriage we envied may have fallen short of our expectations (or even ended in divorce), or we may discover that someone we thought had it all together struggles with insecurities.
Theodore Roosevelt's famous words, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” resonate deeply with me.
As a little girl growing up in a large, low-income family, I often felt trapped on the wrong side of a fence, lost in the weeds, yearning to reach the greener side.
This ongoing struggle of inadequacy became a benchmark for proving my worth in adulthood. The "I will show you" mentality led me down a path of perfectionism and people-pleasing.
Embarking on a journey of self-discovery in my mid-forties brought me full circle to my younger self. The little girl who once felt lost amongst the weeds no longer yearns for the greener side. As she and I navigated through the “fenced-in” illusion, it opened the gateway to my most authentic self.
My point is that comparison leads to discontentment. It steals joy and creativity, constantly reminding us that we aren’t enough and that what we have isn’t enough.
Conversely, true contentment doesn't stem from what we own, how much money we have, how attractive or thin we are, or how successful or intelligent we are.
True contentment arises from finding inner joy and recognizing that we are enough—that what we have is sufficient. Only when we embrace this understanding can we break free from the comparison trap and focus on “watering” the unique gifts and talents the Creator has instilled in us.
As the wise Dr. Seuss once said, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
Embrace your uniqueness.
